Star's trek: The search for Luna- Chapter 1The dark blue Pegasus mare beamed as she looked out across the space dock at the massive ship that was being constructed there. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and it was all going to be hers soon. Her head turned slightly when she heard her name being called out from the other side of the recreation room of Spacedock 16. She raised a hoof to signal the pony, but never took her eyes off the ship for more than a moment. A large metal arm descended from a housing above the saucer section of the ship, spray painting something on the bow before making its way along and adding all of the other details to the hull, along with a twin stripes on each of the cylindrical ney-cells that protruded from the ship’s stern.
This is amazing for a sort of Star Trek/MLP crossover. It's extremley well done, considering this sort of fan fiction is relatively uncharted area.
Vision: We get a VERY clear veiw of what's going on, and there is a pleasurable amount of detail.
Origianality: 100%. That's all I have to say in this feild.
Technique: Wonderful writing technique, as always. There are few grammatical errors (if any), and the main idea and plot are clear and concise.
Impact: Now I have to go re-watch Star Trek and MLP to brush up on this sort of stuff!
OVERALL: Very nice work, everything is conveyed clearly.